Lost in starlight

My bullshit tolerance meter is almost maxed out.

So I have to let this out before I explode this week.

You know, I've been texting almost nonstop with you, I suggest things we could do when we're both free. I say "You're free tonight, I'm free tonight how about I take you out for some food and I'll pay." you reply with "No thanks I'm going to go to bed." and then text me for another 5 hours..

No. You know what, done. I'll be your friend but potential match % is over.

If you don't want to eat fine, but to say you're going to sleep and then you keep texting me for 5 hours hits my "either you're not ready, or you're not interested" trigger.

Oh and FYI, that also means the flirting is over.

Yes, you and I will be having this conversation soon, I'd prefer face to face, but I highly doubt you'll make time for it.

So earlier this week the woman I went on a date with and have exchanged a massive amount of texts with said two somethings that got me to wondering.

The first was I joked that she's being cheated on if she was expecting sex out of our dates. Her reply was "It's not cheating, we're not exclusive."

I have to admit that made my brain twitch abit since she went left field, but it did lead to a conversation about what her expectations are out of friends and/or possible future lovers.

The second was revealed during that conversation and that she's not ready for anything serious, just friendly flirting and casually seeing each other. (More on that in a second)

However, that made me review the reason I was persuing her.

I don't know. Am I coming off as looking for a serious relationship? AM I looking for a serious relationship? Can I be serious about that? What am I looking for? Why am I looking?

Can it really be called casual dating if you only go on one date every two months? Is what we're doing called dating at all? *shrug*

Just something else for my brainworms to make me neurotic about.

So I woke up this morning to this gem in my OKCupid inbox.

"YOU LOOK LIKE A LITTLE BIT OF MICHAEL MOORE WHO IS MY FAVORITE FILM MAKER?
and where in OK city do u live?"

So first of all caps? Really?
Secondly you don't know if Mr. Moor is your favorite film maker or not, either way that's an insult to me since I really don't care for him all that much.
Third. You spell out every word (OK is alright since it's a valid abbreviation) except "you" that's just maddening to me.
Fourth, you actually started a sentence with the word "and" that is just wrong.

Let's change this so I'd respond.
If you'd said Kevin Smith, I'd have overlooked your bare bones profile and might have replied with something resembling interest. Caps I can forgive because I know that sometimes people don't notice it's on, and some people need caps in order to see the words. "You" on the other hand is just very damn lazy.

Rewritten.

"Hello, I wanted to let you know that you look like my favorite film director Kevin Smith, he's just so dreamy with his big beard and puppy-dog eyes. Do you wear trench coats by chance? I also live in the OK City area and was wondering what part of town you live on to see how easy it would be to suggest we go for coffee or a quick Mooby burger. I think I'd like to get to know you better. I'm sorry my profile isn't filled out more, but I'm both leery of putting too much out on the internet, and don't really have time to fill this out the way it should due to my busy employment. I hope you have a nice night."

I need coffee.

As a sidenote, a co-worker is also on OKCupid and viewed my profile, this week at work as the potential to be embarrassing.

I have a lesson to go to and then I'll be meeting her for supper.

And her daughter.

If it goes well, Saturday morning we'll have a zoo date. (Yes, this time I actually got a time to meet her..9am...on a Saturday. Does anyone actually get up that early when there's not a faire

**EDIT**

Skipped supper for ice cream. I had a bananannana split. So I had fruit and veggies and dairy! I did good!

I also earned a theme song from her daughter "Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, he's the smartest guy in the whole wide worrrrlllddddddddddd."

Not bad for a maraschino cherry or two.

She also didn't want me to go home and was very excited we would all three be going to the zoo Saturday, provided she passed her spelling test Friday.

As for the mother. She thinks I'm crazy cause I actually like her daughter.

This just in, her daughter is talking to her "grandmother" and calling me Kevvy.

I also found out I have a kid filter still firmly in place. This is a good thing.

I'm thinking though it went well.

You know I've been watching a wreck for a few years and I've noticed a trend.

There is only so many times that I can watch a wreck before I stop feeling horror and sadness. Then it starts to be funny. If it continues, it ceases to be funny and then I reach a point where I just don't give a damn.
The next stage I've found past that barrier, anger. I just get angry knowing the wreck is going to continue and there's nothing they will do to stop the fucking crash.
After that I just get pissed wondering why they won't take themselves out of the situation.

If the same thing keeps happening over and over and over and the only consistent part of the equation is YOU. Listen to the universe and the lesson it's trying to drill into your thick fucking head.

I love my family I really do, but odds bodkins..

So in my dream I was having a BBQ over at my grandmothers.

I was walking over there and a shadow enveloped me on the ground. I looked up and high overhead keeping pace with me was a Bald Eagle. It swooped around as I started worrying about where my cats were, since they had been walking with me. I ran to where it had grabbed about 5-7 pigeons.

I was at the BBQ then somehow. The meat was cooking and smelling so delicious when another large shadow passed over the backyard. Suddenly there was a slightly larger than Kestrel sized ..prey bird. It looked like an amalgam of a Red shoulder, a buzzard, a kestrel. It was light enough that the thermals of the tiny round grill were keeping it at bay. I knew if it grabbed the cooking meat it would be severely hurt. Since I didn't have a glove I had to take my chances.

Grabbing a gobbit of meat in my right hand I held my left out to it saying "hawk" "hawk" slowly and quietly over and over when a breeze blew it into a tree. Walking slowly and carefully over to it I held my left hand up and tapped my forearm with the right, slipping the meat into my left fist. It turned it's head to the left and then floated down and perched on me. It ate the meat, which is when I realized this hawk had teeth.

Since I'd never held this type of hawk I was unaware of what sort of personality it might have. It kept rubbing it's head against my cheek and I kept moving because I didn't want his teeth (I know right?) to grab my earlobe.

I then woke up. Yes, I was holding my left arm up like it had a hawk on it.

I give up on trying to get my entries to import. Feh.

I have so many things I want to do today, but I'd really rather sleep.

I did manage to find some music folders that I thought were lost. So that's good. I can't decide if I'm going to go to the OCTMA meeting (Oklahoma City, Traditional Music Association) or a Boru's Ghost concert or catch up on much much much needed sleep.

Went to bed at midnight last night and didn't get up until 10:30 am.

I've been fighting to keep my eyes open all day. Even with 10 cups of coffee.